I like his music, but I'm tired of his drama.

Aren't Kanye's 15 minutes up yet?

Behold the Kevin Bacon connection


James Dean is my mother’s cousin.
James Dean was in Giant with Barbara Barrie
Barbara Barrie was in End of the Line with Kevin Bacon

So I almost got rear ended by 3 separate cars today and they were all Acuras. So I’m now declaring it the official car of overzealous a$$hole drivers.

Congratulations Acura.

Jeremy Piven is one of those weird Hollywood enigmas. I saw him crying the other night at the Emmys when he gave a quick tribute to his dead father. Otherwise though, it seems like playing a cocky jerk off comes all too naturally to the guy. Lately, I’ve seen bits and pieces of his Discovery special on India. That paints him as a warm and spiritual person.

So which Jeremy Piven is the real one? He’s either played very bland every man type characters, cocky jerks, or somewhere in between. I sort of miss the fatter and balder Piven who wasn’t staring out at me from every GAP print ad and Chevy commercial. I guess a little hair restoration and a personal trainer can turn anyone’s career around.

A decade old and I still listen to this song regularly.

Hurricanes, you’re on notice.

Nope, you’re dead to me.


Here we are one year on from Katrina and viola, a nasty little bastard named Ernesto is about to creep up the Florida coast and from what I see, he’ll be skirting the coast in those sweet warm Gulf stream waters and gathering strength by week’s end. I just hope he doesn’t come on shore here. Best case scenario, we’ll get a ton of flooding. Worst case scenario we could have a category 3 or more storm dropping on us.


My life on this storm ravaged phallus has taught me two things. First if you wait too long don’t bother evacuating and if you are going to get supplies, get them now. The minute the IDEA of a storm pops into people’s heads, the grocery store shelves will be stripped bare.

Why do I still live here?

Slow your roll.

Slow your roll.

I’ve never gotten depressed by the rain.

In some ways I feel like I’m in my element. No, not the car.
Rain just feels very comforting... like home. The summer rains are nice because they cool it off and as people run back and forth between buildings and cars, I take my time. I’ve been soaked all day because of it.

Today reminds me of those days when I was younger and the overcast time of year was the one I looked forward to. In the winter, it becomes tolerable for you to be outside because the clouds take the edge off of the Florida heat. It is also the time when the beach becomes the domain of the elderly and the introspective. As REM said, “it’s a memory kind of sky.”

It was a rainy day like this that I went to the theatre alone to see “Singles” and decided I would move to Seattle after high school. After buying the soundtrack, I walked on the beach and played it over and over again on my walkman as the cool breeze spit Atlantic dew in my face. If you asked me that day, I would have promised you I had absolute resolve about this plan. A year later, I was Miami bound. I’ll spare you how that turned out.


So days like this seem to lead to even more reflection and for someone who already borders on reflecting too much, that gets dangerous. Maybe there were larger forces at work keeping me from Seattle. If I had this type of weather to contend with 95% of the time, it would either drive me to brilliance, or insanity. My money is on the ladder. If the unexamined life is not worth living, the over examined one should be freakin fantastic.

Right?

Clearly, not a planet.

Wow, maybe we are not in conservative hell after all.

It seems fitting that in a world were Hot Topic is in nearly every mall, it would figure that there is a certain contingent that will stay true to its Goth roots. I found this website pretty amusing.


Now I use to wear trench coats and combat boots back before it automatically meant you were going to shoot up 3rd period. Somewhere in the “adult” world that type of non conformity starts dropping off. I’m glad to see some people keepin it real. I’ll admit the new NIN album is pretty good, but Trent’s “Goth” classification is probably questionable.

I have respect for anyone who stays true to who they are and doesn’t drop into line to conform, but there also reaches a point where the wearing of all black is just sort or sad. Find some way to make yourself happy. When you’re 35 and whining about how mundane and depressing the world is, then maybe it is time to get some Paxil. Now I need to practice what I preach.

I use to pride myself on not having cable. Lately, I’m committed to way too many shows. Call it comfort in a relationship or perhaps lacking the funds and desire to hit the “scene” in my off time. Maybe I just wasn’t really aware there was good entertainment out there. I blame the DVR. Just like Tivo, you set this thing to record your favorite series. Thus the addiction begins.


For the last year or so, I have caught up on great shows that I never really watched before like “Frasier”, “Scrubs” and “Family Guy.” I have years of back episodes of these to catch up on. In the meantime, I’ve discovered some new gems like “American Dad”, “The Office” and “My Name Is Earl.” I even got HBO solely for “Entourage.” Aside from these critically acclaimed shows, I spend plenty of wasted hours on Cartoon Network and Comedy Central and just about everything they put out is great. Somehow I sniffed out “Morel Oral” and “Cheap Seats” in the throws of insomnia.

So I guess this is my confession. I went from an exciting and vibrant human being with independent thoughts and feelings to a drone who is addicted to passive entertainment. It happens to the best of us. My next goal is to get into beer and sports. They seem to be enthralling more than a few people I know.

It I funny the things that occupy your mind at this hour. First and foremost, I’m trying to figure out how to fall asleep without resorting to something like Benadryl. I’m also thinking how miserable I’ll be getting up at the crack of dawn to exercise. I’m also thinking how very tired I am of dieting. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight on Weight Watchers, but I still question if it is a lifestyle I can stick with inevitably. My hunch is I can not and this suffering will be in vain.


Aside from the usual messages of self-doubt and general lack of a strong direction in life come the bigger questions. For example, why are finances always a struggle? Or what do I believe spiritually? I’m sort of reaching the point where what I make just barely joins with what I owe. So many things I expected to be settled at 30 are still way way up in the air. I know there is some value in accepting the present, but I don’t feel I’m content to be someone who barely gets by doing what isn’t my calling. I guess the blog is a good spot on which to bounce these thoughts from. In truth, I’ll bet more than a few of us second guess where we are at and have no clue where we are going.

Sometimes I just want to say F it and go buy a basket of chicken wings and a presidente margarita and chase the whole thing a Marlboro Red and put it on the Visa I never intend to pay off. In fact most of the time I feel this way. There is lies the danger of consciousness and the realization that your actions have repercussions. The short term rewards are so gratifying and we don’t have any guarantees about tomorrow.

On the other hand our culture is riddled with morality tales about the folks who built their lives around shallow fulfillment. Yet we are also in a day and age when personal accountability is at an all time low and our grandparents ideas no longer fly. People use to get married and have kids and build a life together because they valued that stability. Now it seems like most marriages end in divorce. Heck, if you live in Hollywood, all marriages end in divorce.


So our modern times begs the question. What is more pathetic? The guy who spent his life chasing the next drunken party or piece of ass who wakes up one day in his empty apartment and realizes his life lacks anything of substance. Then again, even if you live your life by the good book and invest in your 401K and buy a house when the market is right, you could very well end up one day in the exact same apartment while the family you built lives in the house you invested your future in and all you have to show for it is alimony payments and a visit ever other weekend from the kids. Chances are they’re already bonding with their new daddy.

Even playing by the rules doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness or good health. Even then the odds are stacked against you. I’d right a novel addressing this, but I’m sure Chuck Palahniuk is already on top of it.

I was out of town for the latest paradigm shift for air travelers. Luckily I convinced my benefactors I should drive back. Not because I was scared of anyone blowing up their Pantene bottles, but instead to avoid the nightmare that has become air travel. Last week, I flew out on a Southwestern flight that was overbooked. I also spent nearly 2 hours getting through security. Now mind you, I live in this tiny little redneck town that gave the world Lynard Skinnard and this was before the new air travel restrictions. So I knew if my experience was that ludicrous before the banning of liquids, than it would be twice as insane after the changes.


What amazes me is how ready we are to just accept these things as fact. I mean really, what can you do? You could try and fight the power and bring your Aqua Fresh on a commuter flight, but rest assured, the security people will not only find it, but will probably give you an anal probe for wasting their time. So here we are with yet another major shift in how we travel. I was disillusioned a week ago. Now I’m just sort of over flying all together.

Maybe the great Samuel L. Jackson will finally put a stop to snakes getting on our planes, but who will give us the right to bring our contact lens solution on board? Probably no one. About 20 minutes ago, I looked in the mirror and realized how gray I’ve become. So perhaps I am an old timer who remembers the days when your loved ones could walk you to your terminal and security checks took 5 minutes to determine you didn’t have a gun or bomb.

Honestly, I believe most of us would take our chances flying. There are no guarantees and if we have to now be afraid of aftershave, who knows what the next unforeseen plot will be. I do know this much, after 3 hours getting overanalyzed in the security line, I can say for myself that if anyone tried to highjack the plane I’m on they’re gonna regret it. I’m sure most of us know now that if our plane gets hijacked, we’re gonna die. So why not put up a fight? The more we’re scared of our own shadow, the more the “evil doers” win this battle.

You've been sending your land cows down for vacation, so finally we got to pay New York back. Two wrods people...global warming.

At the exact time I realized this is the dumbest thing ever, I also realized I secretly want one.

What is the significance of a number?


That is a good question. The only time we really appreciate these symbols is when they mark milestones or vary from the norm so much that they garner attention. This weekend I encountered such a number.

My clothes have been falling off me lately. It is too the point where I look like a kid wearing daddy’s clothes. I’d love to say it is coming off while I eat whatever I want. Unfortunately, the bad news is to lose weight, you have to create a caloric deficit. Mine has come in the form of Weight Watchers.

I can not say it will work for everyone. It probably doesn’t. As a veteran of crazy workout plans, low-carb plans and low fat plans, this was the thing I found that worked. It is straight science. Nothing is forbidden, but if you eat something “bad” you have to be very healthy the rest of the day, or sometimes the week. It teaches balance.

So on a whim, I tried on some clothes this weekend and found out I now wear size 34 pants. If you aren’t a guy, or perhaps a naturally skinny guy, you can not relate to what a marker this is. On my very personal journey, I feel I have reached somewhere that I feel comfortable sharing where I am and where I have been.

I remember how depressing the day was when I realized my size was no longer sold in the trendy stores. That was when I went from 36 to 38. Even worse was the day I had to buy size 40 pants. I had to order them online because they didn’t make that waist size on the rack with my inseam. Apparently people my height were not meant to be that fat.


So of all the private victories I’ve had in life, nothing felt as sweet as this hard earned one. Since new years, I’ve been on varying degrees of sticking to this diet and ultimately, the slips and spills have shown me that this is a lifetime decision and one in which I’ll have to remain vigilant with until I die. Hopefully with these positive changes, that will come later rather than sooner. Until then, it feels nice to wear “normal” size again.

To add to the list of things I am ashamed of, I like the new Madonna song a lot. Yeah, I know. Weird huh? It has the universal gay beat.

Thump, thump, thump.

Is there something I might be in denial about? Erasure, the Pet Shop Boys, my distaste for sports and the fact I have not missed an episode of Kathy Griffin’s show. I’m 30 and unmarried for what it is worth and now to add insult to injury I like (gasp) Madonna.

So I might know who Tim Gunn is, but I couldn’t name a running back in the NFL if my life depended on it.


Sometimes I even wonder myself.

For the record though, I am 100% attracted to women. So maybe I’m just comfortable in my heterosexuality, but when I heard that Madonna song and didn’t immediately change the channel, I worried myself for a minute.