I quite honestly have nothing better to do right now than blog. It is that narcissistic “I have nothing to say but I’m going to say it anyway” type of blog.


I caught Al Gore on Larry King Live the other night ad I have to say I was impressed. I guess he is finally free to speak his mind and he isn’t really dancing around direct statements like most politicians do. Of course these days he is a statesman, movie star and PowerPoint-lecture-on-the-end-of-the-world-giver. He is not (apparently) a politician anymore. You have to admit, the man is damn smart. It is nice to have someone in the public eye with a southern accent that is actually intelligent. Unlike the current resident Whitehouse "southerner" Gore is actually from the south. I’d love to know when exactly Texas became W’s home.

According to IMDB.com Al Gore was born in Washington, DC. Still technically the south. W was born in New Haven and that is decidedly not the south. That isn’t such a bad thing. There’s nothing wrong with being a New England child of privilege who went to an Ivy League school and was in Skull and Bones. That seems to be exactly the type of person who could reach the presidency. The funny thing is W seems to run like hell from that distinction. He wants you to believe he’s just a good old boy who cleans brush off his Texas ranch all day. I’m ashamed I was born two blocks from a Krystals and W seems to openly want people to think he had just that type of childhood.

Alas, I digress. Gore for all that he drawls his speech is decidedly more intelligent than any other politician I've seen in the last few years. Like nerdy-needs-a-swirly after class kind of smart. Exactly the kind of character Bush wants you to think he beats up after class. I’m just wondering if Bush wedged that in before or after cheerleading practice. I'll bet he wishes people would forget his spirit squad days. Once again, I digress. My point was that Al Gore became his boring old intelligent straight talking self and suddenly everybody wants him to run for president again. So I guess maybe American is realizing what happens when they put their favorite frat boy in office. Maybe 2008 will be the year of the nerd president.

Forget the suave and smooth alpha-males of old and let’s finally get a complete and total nerd running things. I for one would rather have a guy who would bore me to death at his presidential address but knows what he is talking about. What type of leader is someone who can smirk and crack a joke, but would forget his own name if it wasn't on the teleprompter? Borderline retarded people can have successful careers as Wal-Mart greeters, boxers and maybe even the occasional car salesman. They should not be in charge of running the last super power.

Some weeks you just have to ask…can it get any worse?

No God. Sorry I didn’t really say that. I know. I could have it far worse.

It is just yesterday I had a stomach bug and all the usual joy that comes with that. Today I had 2 hours of drilling and filling at the dentist. Needless to say, both ends hurt. I feel like I just walked off the set of “28 Wangs Later.”


Please tell me this week will get better. I just need to hear it from someone.

I swear this kid never disappoints.

I'm disgusted by this.
Guilty confession

I quit changing the station when Nickelback comes on. I know, I know. I avoid the radio these days because 99% of the music is total crap. What got me was VH-1. I got suckered in by that “If Everyone Cared?” video. It was really well made and had a moving message. Damn it, not only do I no longer hate Nickelback with every fiber of my being, I have one of their songs bouncing around my head. If and when I ever find Linkin Park enjoyable, please shoot me.

Wouldn't it be funny if the St. Peter was waiting at the gates of heaven dressed like this?

Hellloooooo Mr. Falwell!

It always cracks me up the way little details in life make so much sense in retrospect. Some folks seem to have insight into this. Take Bright Eyes for example. I tend to think this guy is just more than a hipster flash in the pan singer song/writer. In fact some of his songs border on straight poetry full of absolute truths and insight beyond his years. One he wrote a few years ago that I absolutely love is called “I Believe in Symmetry.” For the uninitiated, listen here. I’m guessing he was somewhere in his early 20s at the time standing back and looking at the world knowing more or less that what lies ahead for him will be the same well worn path most of us travel.

There’s something about being young that makes you think your life will be sexier than your parents. Instead of ending up on some cul-de-sac named after the tress that were destroyed to build your community, you tend to dream about a road less traveled. A few of us fight this destiny with every fiber of our being knowing we are meant to be a movie star, safari guide or novelist. 30 humbles everyone and I have a feeling 40 kicks your ass. So maybe when it is all said and done, we meet the same fate. I don’t mean death but a mundane existence built around simple pleasures.

The ones that do continue chasing the carrot usually end up alone, broke and ravaged by a life less prudent. Fighting is for the young. Ask any 44 year old officer stuck in Iraq for the past couple of years. Somewhere along the line you have to accept your life will be less like a Miller Light commercial and more like a Prudential ad. Steady as she goes my friend.

So if you go see the new Spiderman, take note of what he looks lke when he becomes the bad Peter Parker. I think I know where his stylist got the look.

Conor Oberst AKA Brighteyes.

What I used to be will pass away
And then you'll see
That all I want now is happiness
For you and me
-Elliott Smith

So maybe I shouldn’t idolize people who committed suicide. There’s something romantic and beautiful to a tragic story. Sometimes I worry my own life is going to be some kind of tragedy. Lord knows given my gene pool, the ability to be a screw up is strong. No this isn’t a cry for help, so don’t go worrying about me. I’ve held things together just find for three decades. I guess sometimes I just feel a little sorry for myself. Truth be told though, when most of us scratch the surface of other people’s lives we quickly see all is not as well as it may appear. I was once posed the question “if you could be anyone other than yourself who would you be?”

Of course I answered that question the textbook way we’re all expected to answer it. Of course I don’t want to be someone else. Why? Because everyone has their cross to bear. Plus it is human nature to like familiarity. So knowing with the hand that I’ve been dealt I’ll never slam dunk a basketball or pull a Freido with two super models, I shoulder on. So it goes. I’m not deformed or mentally challenged, so I count my blessings. I just think we all have our dark times where even little minute ridiculous things seem unbearable.

The trick I suppose is to focus on the positive. That can be pretty hard to do when it goes against ever fiber of your nature. It is even harder when you weren’t brought up around positive people. It is hard to unlearn the fundamentals sometimes.

So the very adult activity of house shopping has me thinking. I don’t like Florida. I never have and I likely never will. It is not only hot, but steamy. Incredibly steamy. Turn your shower on full blast hot and stand there for 20 minutes and you might, just might get some idea of what 9 months of the year in this paved-over swamp feels like. Did I mention the gators and snakes? I’ve ranted before about all the other denizens that this state attracts. Many come here from colder climates to find Margarittaville (TM). The smart ones go back home after they scratch off the polish on that dream.

Unlike so many Floridians, I was born here. OK, technically my family lived in Georgia, but they had to cross the border to get to the closest hospital and less than 3 years later we permanently settled here. Aside from 18 months post college in Atlanta, I’ve called this state home all my life. What comes with that is the knowledge that so many people I care about are here in Florida and they fail to see the grimy underbelly I do. Most have no intentions of leaving.

So do I buy a house knowing I’m stuck here for the time being? Eventually the ability to leave will fade away and not too far behind that the desire probably will too. I know no place is perfect, but I haven’t felt the warm and fuzzies here in a long time. Maybe it’s the fact that the whole thing will likely being under water in my lifetime. So keep driving your Hummers people. I just hope we all get off this finger before the polar bears wash up on the shore of Orlando.

It is so weird to think was a vastly different world we live in than 10 years ago. There are the obvious markers like 9-11 that changed the world forever. There are less subtle things as well. For instance, a decade ago cell phones where still somewhat of a status symbol. I remember in college getting my first one and calling one or two friends who also had one. Usually it was from across the room and we would think how silly it was to call someone you could obviously walk up to and strike up a conversation. I guess in a word, they were still a novelty.


The internet was fledgling as well. Hardly anyone had a website. Today every taco stand in America has its own website. Back then we’d wait for an hour or more to use the handful of computers at my college library attached to the internet. Of course the things that power the internet now were around back then. I remember the classic email forwards and urban legends. There’s Kiki the exploding butt hamster, the rednecks who went frog gigging and shot their junk off and of course the fabulous website devoted to proving Hasselhoff is the anti-Christ.

Ten years ago we were excited to have a college radio station at our command and it broadcast across town when most college stations barely surpassed their parking lots. Now that same station is available online with streaming audio. The only problem is today the music sucks. The Cardigans, Cranberries and Counting Crows are replaced by bands with five words in their name who scream about nothing important. Most of today’s music owes a debt to the past. Sure Green Day and Weezer pop up now and then, but their just one of hundreds of bands rocking the same sound. Originality, harmony and song writing are gone.

I suspect all this curmudgeon retrospection is normal. The culture has to move on and slowly you become less of the target demographic. MTV isn’t making shows for you anymore. You’re trapped between the buttoned up semi-casual of midlife and the frayed jeans of youth. Unfortunately as time goes on I find myself reflecting on the past, complaining about the present and having little hope for the future. As a wise prophet once said “I guess this is growing up.”