I had lunch with some old friends today. One of them was turning 30. It occurred to me that we all met in 8th grade, so we’ve known each other more than half our lives. It is amazing and strange how fast time passes and how much people can stay the same. We have drifted apart over the years. It happens. It was still good to see my old crew. One piece of the puzzle was definitely missing. It was Lefty. We were the Gruesome Foursome back in the day. Unfortunately, Lefty died in a hit and run while crossing the street in Berkeley almost 8 years ago to the day. We had not talked through most of college, but going to his funeral felt so final and so real. It was a strange time, because I was about to graduate college and head out into the world and there was John dead from something so senseless. I think it gave every one of us at the funeral a sense that we are not going to life forever.

Perhaps I would have never talked with John again anyway. Now I’ll never know. What I do know is that the most precious thing you can have in life is a friend. Good friendships overcome distance, both geographically and emotionally. Amazingly enough the people who knew you when you were a child will always know the real you. When you strip away the posturing and the self-defenses we all have as adults, there's still a fragile teenager trying to figure out who he wants to be. Your friends from that time will always know who you really are.

Somehow, when I got in the car and Keane came on it seemed fitting. No matter who you choose to spend your life with or how close you are to your family or coworkers, there will always be a chapter of your early life that few people know and even fewer understand.

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on..
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?

Curiosity got to me, so I called the company behind the famous theatre that has never gotten off the ground in St. Augustine.


They assure me it should be open by this time next year.

The malls are the soon to be ghost towns, well so long, farewell, good bye.

Hopefully the decade long rumor about “Six Flags” coming to town will be put to rest at some point.

My wish list

What the heck, you never know until you present it to the cosmos.

I wish…
The Shins would do a cover of “Hips Don’t Lie.” It would be hauntingly beautiful, yet hard not to dance to.

I wish E-85 would catch on and the government would pay to convert our cars.
http://www.e85fuel.com/index.php

I wish Hollywood would do something original, because as stupid as I think “Small Wonder” the movie would be, I’d probably still go see it.

I wish Dakota Fanning would play V.I.C.K.I. in that film they’re bound to make.

I wish celery tasted like French fries

I wish Comcast would be forcibly taken over by someone who knows how to run a cable company.

I wish we retired at 18 right after high school. You have to next 12 years to fart around and figure out where you want to go. Then you work until you die.

I wish to be “grandfathered” into that retirement program and return to work at 42.

I wish cigarettes were good for you.

I wish the Eagles would just go away already. Except for Glen Fry, I have no beef with him. The rest of you know what you did.

I wish soy products actually made decent substitutes for meat.

I wish diet soda actually tasted like the real thing.

I wish people would stop building on the coast.

I wish the housing bubble would burst.

I wish the Bird Flu would selectively wipe out the a$$Holes and leave the rest of us alone.

I wish medical school was free and you could get in with an English degree.

I wish everyone would just stop killing in the name of “God.” For something that is suppose to serve as a moral compass, religion sure seems to get a lot of people killed.
I wish they didn’t make clothes just for tall people, fat people and regular size people. What about the short people?

I wish that people had something better to do than watch “American Idol.”

I wish it was sunnier in Seattle.

I wish Florida would flood already, but only while we are all away on vacation.

I wish the world was a safer and more loving utopia.

I wish my country wasn’t founded by prudes.

I wish they weren’t taking the power back.

I wish Tom Cruise would just come out already.

I wish more people saw it coming.

I wish the ending is as quick and painless as possible.

And lastly,
I wish I was a little bit taller, wish I was a balla.


You saw that coming.

Take some advice kiddos.

Don’t smoke.

I went three years without smoking and had a brief and retardedly misguided relapse where I thought I could have 1 a day. It didn’t work. I can happily say I saw the misguided logic to it and wiped out the once daily dose before it was too late. I can happily say my 30s have been smoke free.

The thing is I’ve watched this scenario play out in so many people. A friend at work was a heavy smoker and she smoked for decades. She had the cough and constant sickness to go with it. So she up and quits and feels better. Her quitting lasts for months. Then the other day I catch her out back with a smoke. I tell her not to worry, because I’ve been there and I wouldn’t judge her and it is certainly no one else’s business. The next day, she is out sick. She was having breathing problems. So hopefully it was lesson learned, but we all seem to fall off the wagon eventually and some of us permanently.

In all honesty the best thing you can do is never even tempt fate. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think of putting one of those stupid things in my mouth. I’ve never been a big drinker or a drug user. I’m a pretty clean teen, but man was I addicted to tobacco. I still am and I always will be. Years after quitting my pack a day habit, it haunts my dreams and in times like this when major changes bring uncertainty and anxiety, it takes literally every fiber of my being to not go to the Kangaroo and buy a pack of Marlboro’s.

Sweet, sweet Marlboros.

There are two great things that have become lost in oblivion. The first is “Mr. Belvedere.” That show just plain ruled and that Wesley was a rascal. It had what to me is the best theme song of all time. So very catchy.

The other is “Song of the South.” Trust me, as someone who grew up in the humid hell hole known as the South; there are plenty of reasons to despise the place and plenty of examples of a shameful history. What I don’t understand is how this movie came to be racist. It was truthfully one of the first things I remember as a kid showing an older black man as the wise story teller. The kids loved him and from the film you can tell the kids loved each other, no matter what their skin color is. Somehow it got labeled “racist.”


That means it is only a matter of time before “Roots”, “Amistad” and about a dozen other classic films get the same title. It is sad to think my grandchildren will be able to see "Aladdin 12" or "Bambi 3", but “Song of the South”, a classic made under Walt Disney’s guidance will live on only in the snippets a few of us carry around.

Don't get me started on "Pete's Dragon" or "The Fox and the Hound." The latter was the last film where Diney's older artists had their hand in animating.

Sometimes you just remember snippets from years ago and they make you smile.

I remember in college one day around lunch time myself and some friends went in search of “Pop Rocks” and soda. We were going to test the urban legend about the Life Cereal kid and how that was supposedly his undoing. The best part about that memory is the fact that it never crossed our minds that mixing those too volatile substances together could actually kill us. We even used Jolt! Cola for good measure.

I miss those days.

As I’m getting older, I’m frequently reflecting on memories like that and wondering where the last 5, 10, 20 years have gone. I’m leaving a job this week that was supposed to be a stepping stone to something else. It ended up being a 5 year stop. Lately I’ve noticed a lot more of these huge chunks of time zipping by. There once was a time when 5 years meant something. The world to an 8 year old is a vastly different place than it is to a 13 year old. As well, the difference between 13 and 18 is enormous.

Maybe at some point you have to pass on the torch. I don’t mean this to sound boring or depressing or God forbid “grown up.” It just seems more and more like the crazy good times are reserved for those who don’t remember the Snorks or the Reagan administration. The current batch of high school seniors was not even alive during the Reagan years.


“How time can move both fast and slow amazes me. So I raise my glass to symmetry to the second hand and its accuracy. To the actual size of everything, the desert is the sand. You can’t hold it in your hands; it won’t bow to your demands”
~Brighteyes

Have you ever noticed Wyclef Jean always says something like “refugee all stars in the house” whenever he makes a guest appearance? Aren’t the Fugees a group and not an individual? That is like me walking into a room and saying “Troop 242 in the house.” I was once a Boy Scout after all.*


OK, that was bugging me. What is also bugging me is the price of concert tickets. Just out of curiosity, I took a peak at the Fiona Apple tickets for tomorrow’s show in Orlando. Now I’m not the biggest Fiona Apple fan on the planet, but I’d drop $20 to go see her concert. I’m sure she puts on a good show. Maybe we could discuss Mia Angelou afterwards.

Well tickets start, yes start, at $50. I’m sure she wonders why the show isn’t sold out. Fiona honey, you’re not that caliber of star. U2, Coldplay, R.E.M. that can sell out for those prices. You might be a great singer/song writer, but it has been a good decade since you were the “it” girl. Of course if you roll around half naked in a bathtub like the good old days, then you might get a second wind.



*For the record I know they are a group again, but when did he get power of attorney?

Mundane crap alert.


Yes, more transmissions from planet monotony.

I slept about 3.5 hours last night. I woke up feeling like I was going to vomit at 2:30. Honestly, it freaked me out. About the time I got settled back down, one of the 19 year old Paris Hilton clones downstairs was yelling at her f-buddy that she loves him and he drove off in his imported car with an intentionally loud muffler. I say drove off, he spent a good 15 minutes posturing with his loud engine and bad dance music. I heard plenty of noise, but I sure didn’t hear him reciprocate her affection. Here is a hint, if he doesn’t take you anywhere and he’s dropping by for some booty after 2 A.M., he’s just not that into you.

So annoyed and awake, I began the plunge all of us who don’t sleep so good dread. There is a fine line to walk, because if you stay in bed, you toss and turn never to reclaim sleep. If you get up, you might get the mind engaged in something else and next thing you know, you’re wide awake. The next 6 hours turned into the latter. I saw a lot of Vh-1 and I can say it definitely plays more music I like than MTV. Translation, I’m getting old.

I did mange to squeeze a run in. I use the term run loosely, because it was more like a falling forward. I figured it would burn off some excess energy and if nothing else makes sleeping easier tonight. The good news was eventually my complete exhaustion made my screaming legs seem less painful.

So now I’m cranky, I have a headache and my legs are useless JELLO. I’m counting the minutes until I can go home.

Wow, maybe I’ll abandon my current project.


Since you asked, it is a love story. I’m hoping to get Sandra Bullock involved. She would be the principle who has several prosthetics. I plan to call it “Some Assembly Required.” The male lead will be the carpenter who comes to make her home handicap friendly.

Just for fun, check out this list of some of the reasons the Roman Empire fell. Interesting stuff. Now, notice any similarities to today? I thought the one about birth control was pretty dead on. My generation definitely is not having kids like the last one. Decide for yourself if that is good or bad.

Big ups to Megan for sending me this shirt. I think it is awesome, but I'm also affraid I'll drop over $20 for it and be affraid to wear it.

The things that qualify as news these days!

In case you haven’t heard, Kelly Clarkson is not anorexic.

I applaud her for that. The funny thing is it makes NEWS that paparazzi caught her at the beach in a bikini and (Gasp) she ate a big hot dog. Let’s all take a minute and look to our left and then to our right.

The country is full of fat people and poor Kelly just happens to be a star without an eating disorder in an age of anorexic stars. So it goes. News flash, “American Idol” is dumb, it is “Star Search” repackaged. A girl who weighs more than 75 lbs. getting into a bikini is hardly news. Darfur and the disaster that is Iraq should be making headlines, not this.

The kind of things you find at 4 A.M when you are up with insomnia.

1) A cat with a very active nightlife. He was running scrimmages with his nip filled toy ball like it was high noon. Do they have Charter By the Sea for cats, because I think he might have a problem?
2) There is absolutely nothing of value on television, especially at this hour.
3) Worrying is a huge waste of time and energy.
4) Blogging is dangerous. At least a couple of people have read my blog lately and decided not to be my friend.

I guess the whole point to putting yourself “out there” is to find like minded people to pat you on the back or people who completely disagree with you to challenge your beliefs. I’m stubborn, especially when it comes to what I believe.

I spent the better part of the last hour getting wrapped up in myspace and some blogs and somehow got on the pages from some local churchgoers. I’m sad to report at least one old friend of mine and I have lost touch due to our differences in church attendance. While I can not blame him for distancing himself from a guy who makes jokes about Rosie O’Donnell at a strip show, I do hope he knows I have always had a wicked sense of humor, but more importantly a good heart.

I’ve struggled over the years with bringing the faith and desire I have for my Christian beliefs in harmony with my realization that far too many Christians live in a judgmental bubble. It doesn’t take a doctorate in theology to see that Jesus did his life’s work and ministry in the streets and taverns. Not in the clean and interloper free world of the modern church. In fact, he condemned those who displayed their pious nature in the temples and became so obsessed with their sanctity and routines that they completely forgot his message in the first place. We are all sinners. All the shoulder patting and thumbs ups in the world will not change that.

The only difference between you and say someone like Marilyn Manson is you are seeking a better way. Yet if you truly believe Christ’s message, then all the praise and worship albums, ornate temples and self congratulating late night prayer jams are just elements of flare. The New Testament is full of Christ’s condemnation of such things. I guess I feel it is my personal mission to keep reminding the folks that flash John 3:16 everywhere that the message continues in John 3:17 as well.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

I had the weirdest dream last night.

I dreamed I was asked to speak at a comedy festival. It was some kind of roast or event honor someone famous. It was so weird, because I spent the better part of the dream trying to come up with something funny to say. I was dryer than Rosie O’Donnell at a Chippendale’s review. Maybe it was an omen that when you try too hard at something, you’re bound to fail.

Some things in life are very scary. There is no doubt
a sub conscious sliding scale. Moving…kinda scary. Get
married…very scary. Somewhere in between sits the
other things. I guess no matter what, as humans we are
inevitably going to survive most of the things life
throws at us. I’ve been through unemployment,
bankruptcy, messy break ups and having my nice car
taken away. So in truth, not much scares me in regards
to things “falling apart.” If I ever find myself alone
and broke again, you’ll find me in a park bench
somewhere in Seattle chain-smoking.

So I put in my two weeks notice. I’ve been at the same
job now for 5 years and I’m scared to death that this
change will be a humungous disaster. Granted I’ll
actually be using my masters and my brain, but part of
me still lives in fear that I might not be able to
survive even with those damn fine credentials. Chief
among the changes will be a loss of unchecked internet
access all day. Not that I relish surfing the net on
company time. Lord knows the day would be better spent
being productive. It is just a case of foreign unknown
things coming to fruition.

These next couple of weeks I will make extra effort to
blog like crazy, because after that I’ll have precious
little time for it. I’ll miss the release, but I’ll
also be glad to feel like I’m doing something for my
future instead of spinning my wheels. Hopefully I’m
not jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.