It I funny the things that occupy your mind at this hour. First and foremost, I’m trying to figure out how to fall asleep without resorting to something like Benadryl. I’m also thinking how miserable I’ll be getting up at the crack of dawn to exercise. I’m also thinking how very tired I am of dieting. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight on Weight Watchers, but I still question if it is a lifestyle I can stick with inevitably. My hunch is I can not and this suffering will be in vain.


Aside from the usual messages of self-doubt and general lack of a strong direction in life come the bigger questions. For example, why are finances always a struggle? Or what do I believe spiritually? I’m sort of reaching the point where what I make just barely joins with what I owe. So many things I expected to be settled at 30 are still way way up in the air. I know there is some value in accepting the present, but I don’t feel I’m content to be someone who barely gets by doing what isn’t my calling. I guess the blog is a good spot on which to bounce these thoughts from. In truth, I’ll bet more than a few of us second guess where we are at and have no clue where we are going.