So I finally broke down and read the “Da Vinci Code.” OK, I haven’t finished yet. I’m like 80% done. I figured I would join the ranks of all the people who will sit and complain about how much better the book is than the movie. If I had any plans to see “Mission Impossible III” I’d go read “Dianetics” before hand. Then I could understand the subtle scientologist elements. Of course scientology is the one religion shrouded in secrecy. I guess if I believe alien pieces inhabited my body, I’d probably keep that on the down low too.

So “The Da Vinci Code” has been somewhat predictable. Everyone always talks about Dan Brown being good at taking you off guard. Maybe the fact I came in with a healthy knowledge about the Knights Templar and Da Vinci’s habit of writing backwards. So some of the mystery was taken out of it for me. Damn Catholic school.

I’m working on my own novel explaining how the Taco Bell dog has embedded symbols into his merchandise indicating the Aztecs are in fact running the country. They have assembled with the Zoroastrians to create a secret society that fills our head with messages through the musical artwork of the J Geil’s Band. The iambic pentameter of “Centerfold” hints toward the Pagan roots of this lingua pura pop hit.