Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The years go fast but the days go so slow.


What is it about this human condition that can be so incredibly isolating sometimes? I don’t want to use the term “lonely” because it doesn’t fit. As my astrological profile says “the Pisces will often find themselves alone but never lonely.” That is pretty dead on. I’ve never been a big fan of human company just to have someone else around. I’d rather go to the library or a movie or for a walk by myself. Yet every once in a great while that feeling that you are completely on your own in the world creeps in. Now I’m not saying this is an exclusive felling for me or my astrological sign or people with brown hair and kids born in the mid-70s. I think it spreads across the whole spectrum.


The most fiercely independent person I ever knew was my grandmother. Even in her 80s she loved living by herself, but when people did visit, she would get a little spark in her that let you know your company was appreciated. That is until she was ready for you to leave, which could give you a window anywhere from 5 minutes to a full afternoon. I have always been told I am easy company by others, so that may explain why the loners of the world have always been easily befriended by me, be they family or otherwise. Yet there does come a time where we all have to admit we need more than just casual contact with people.

Everyone should have someone they confide in and share some of what makes them tick. I think that is what I am personally lacking right now. I have no issues with writing in my blog and if most people ask me a pointblank question, I give them an honest answer. Who do I open up to? Really no one. I wish I had that trusted confidant. The truth is family and friends who might fit that role perfectly will usually be too preoccupied with their own lives or worse yet there exist too much history and too much biography between us.*

I guess if you really explore the history of society in general you’ll see these themes of isolation pop up as me move away from communal rural living and into a world were individuals have to make it on their own in the city. See also “The Invisible Man” see also “Rebel without a Cause” Perhaps it is this very sense that we are all isolated and never capable of being understood by others that has made our society so fragmented and our children so messed up. Maybe it isn’t the moral fabric that has unraveled, by the communal sharing of the human experience. I know for myself, I just want someone to say they “get” me and then actually believe them. Many have tried, none have succeeded.

*yes, it was a B&S reference.

2 Comments:

Blogger spaceface01 said...

Everybody needs a bozom for a pillow...that's what I always say.

5:19 AM  
Blogger LC said...

Ah... I do agree with you and the above comment. Cornershop is great! I have recently been thinking of this topic as well. It seems as though interaction and company is addictive. After spending a large amount of time with others (and I mean meaningful conversations, not just fluff) if that interaction stops, it's like going cold turkey off a drug. A scurry erupts and one has to throw themselves back into the hum-drum sole activities they once performed. Once back in the rythm, it all seems ok... it's just the transitions that are sometimes bumpy. However, I agree with you about having that one person to confide in. It is as though being able to tell someone what's going on affirms it and keeps you in reality, otherwise did it really happen?

10:26 AM  

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