I’m broadcasting live form the belly of the creature we call self doubt. Why do some many of us struggle with it and where did it come from?
I guess I’m lucky to live in a world where someone with a laundry list of learning disabilities and the handwriting of a crackwhore with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome can use technology to write. True, spell check doesn’t catch everything, but believe me if this was by written by hand and unchecked by Microsoft Word, it would barely be readable. Maybe it is unreadable. The important thing is I don’t know or care much. If you don’t like my blog, then keep surfing.
Anyway, what was my point? Oh yes, self doubt is a beotch. So much of our lives are surrendered to it and 99.999% of the time we take the path of least resistance. It is easier to be lonely than rejected. It is easier to think ‘what if” then to do the prereqs and apply to medical school. It is easier to write in a blog than to organize yourself and complete a book. I’ve been feeding this thing for quite awhile and if I invested the time and energy I put into this, I could have written the great American novel by now.
But I didn’t and I will not. See, that is a perfect example of why I never will. Syntax, grammar, spelling. These are the tools of the almost rans and nearly was. It seems like my teachers and professors spent so much time telling me how bad I liked to bastardize the English language that they made me forget I had a passion for it and perhaps, in my own mutated way, a certain level of writing ability. I’m not trying to toot my own horn and say I am a great writer. I do, however, fully recognize I would have nothing to lose in actually composing a novel. I certainly have the imagination and the grammar and syntax can be bought.
The only problem is this blog is free. It requires no improvements. It stands on it’s own. It never rejects me or calls for a revision.
And a rock feels no pain and an island never cries.
I guess I’m lucky to live in a world where someone with a laundry list of learning disabilities and the handwriting of a crackwhore with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome can use technology to write. True, spell check doesn’t catch everything, but believe me if this was by written by hand and unchecked by Microsoft Word, it would barely be readable. Maybe it is unreadable. The important thing is I don’t know or care much. If you don’t like my blog, then keep surfing.
Anyway, what was my point? Oh yes, self doubt is a beotch. So much of our lives are surrendered to it and 99.999% of the time we take the path of least resistance. It is easier to be lonely than rejected. It is easier to think ‘what if” then to do the prereqs and apply to medical school. It is easier to write in a blog than to organize yourself and complete a book. I’ve been feeding this thing for quite awhile and if I invested the time and energy I put into this, I could have written the great American novel by now.
But I didn’t and I will not. See, that is a perfect example of why I never will. Syntax, grammar, spelling. These are the tools of the almost rans and nearly was. It seems like my teachers and professors spent so much time telling me how bad I liked to bastardize the English language that they made me forget I had a passion for it and perhaps, in my own mutated way, a certain level of writing ability. I’m not trying to toot my own horn and say I am a great writer. I do, however, fully recognize I would have nothing to lose in actually composing a novel. I certainly have the imagination and the grammar and syntax can be bought.
The only problem is this blog is free. It requires no improvements. It stands on it’s own. It never rejects me or calls for a revision.
And a rock feels no pain and an island never cries.
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