Can men and women be friends without the relationship issue coming up? I use to believe it was possible. Maybe I tell myself that because I have female friends. What changes when you have history with a friend of the opposite sex? I’ve been lucky that most of my break ups in life have been clean and we left on friendly terms. I have remained friends with my exs (in the sense we might exchange Christmas cards or have a drink when our paths cross) and I have found that for the most part this formula works. What then do you do when there is still “something” left?
I guess as people we are amazingly selfish. We only tend to see the world from our own standpoint and color it accordingly with our feelings. Instead of stepping outside of our own perspective, we just expect the world to conform to what we want or think we want. How wrong is it to do that? Who knows? Our perspective and self actualization is what makes us unique. I would argue it is a cornerstone to being “human.”
Problems tend to come when two people see the exact same situation from completely different perspectives and absolutely refuse to step outside of that view. Let us say, hypothetically, you have a couple. The girl was controlling and cruel and used the guy’s sensitive and caring nature to take advantage of nearly everything about him. So one day, he gathered the courage to extract himself from the bad relationship knowing full well it would hurt him immensely and definitely hurt her just as much. The guy doesn’t like hurting people, but he knows it is right to end the very dysfunctional relationship.
Two years go by and the girl realizes that she actually loved said guy and thinks she may have let a fantastic man drift out of her life. In the meantime she worked her relationship issues out on a couple of failed attempts to move on. Now with a few more experiences she hopes maybe the guy has forgiven her horrible treatment and maybe he would be interested in having another go. The guy has spent the last two years getting his head straight and staying away from another bad relationship. So she takes a chance and tells the guy how she feels.
He just wants to be friends and he was outstandingly honest about this, but she takes a chance and admits she wants more. Much, much more. So the guy has to decide if he should once again do what he knows is right and walk away. He doesn’t want to cut off communication completely nor does he want to be anything but kind to the girl who has been through so much. He just knows if he does not make a clean break, neither of them will ever heal. So, he takes a deep breath and remembers the words of our president.
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
I guess as people we are amazingly selfish. We only tend to see the world from our own standpoint and color it accordingly with our feelings. Instead of stepping outside of our own perspective, we just expect the world to conform to what we want or think we want. How wrong is it to do that? Who knows? Our perspective and self actualization is what makes us unique. I would argue it is a cornerstone to being “human.”
Problems tend to come when two people see the exact same situation from completely different perspectives and absolutely refuse to step outside of that view. Let us say, hypothetically, you have a couple. The girl was controlling and cruel and used the guy’s sensitive and caring nature to take advantage of nearly everything about him. So one day, he gathered the courage to extract himself from the bad relationship knowing full well it would hurt him immensely and definitely hurt her just as much. The guy doesn’t like hurting people, but he knows it is right to end the very dysfunctional relationship.
Two years go by and the girl realizes that she actually loved said guy and thinks she may have let a fantastic man drift out of her life. In the meantime she worked her relationship issues out on a couple of failed attempts to move on. Now with a few more experiences she hopes maybe the guy has forgiven her horrible treatment and maybe he would be interested in having another go. The guy has spent the last two years getting his head straight and staying away from another bad relationship. So she takes a chance and tells the guy how she feels.
He just wants to be friends and he was outstandingly honest about this, but she takes a chance and admits she wants more. Much, much more. So the guy has to decide if he should once again do what he knows is right and walk away. He doesn’t want to cut off communication completely nor does he want to be anything but kind to the girl who has been through so much. He just knows if he does not make a clean break, neither of them will ever heal. So, he takes a deep breath and remembers the words of our president.
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
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