It seems like there are always things we are ill informed about until it is too late. So maybe, just maybe, I should take this free space to disillusion a few people.
SMOKERS
You will always crave a cigarette should you choose to quit. My grandmother was well into her 80s and was over 40 years smoke free and she still craved them from time to time. I quit almost 2 years ago, but if they cure cancer tomorrow, you better believe I’d light up a sweet Marlboro Regular full strength. Heck, I’d probably bite off the filter.
TEENS
If you think life sucks now, hang on, it gets worst. Fortunately, your power of denial gets stronger. My only regret is I didn’t live the kind of teenage years all the adults seem to be afraid I was living. Being in the Latin Club doesn’t exactly get a guy any action.
COLLEGE GRADS
Guess what, you’ll be lucky to make $30,000 a year. If you do make more, you probably live in San Francisco and pay $2,000 a month in rent. My advice to you is to get a part time gig at a glory hole somewhere. Trust me, that night job will not suck nearly as bad as whatever the Man ends up forcing you to do. A word to the wise, your job will not involve a thing you learned in school and even if you do end up doing what you studied, or worse yet what you love, you’ll end up hating it when you do it 40+ hours a week for a few years.
THE UNMARRIED
Ok, I fall into this category, but here is the deal if you haven’t figured it out yet. Most of the married people of the world are miserable. How else do you explain the divorce rate? So these people, in order to justify their mistakes or maybe to support the old “misery loves company” philosophy, will try everything they can to convince you married life is “da bomb.” Don’t believe the hype. I know a few happily married couples, but they are the exception. For guys, this warning holds especially true. As a test to see if you’re ready for marriage, throw all your favorite things in the trash, set your TV to a channel you hate and break the remote, put someone else in control of your finances and don’t have sex for a year. If you can survive that, you’re ready to get married.
SKINNY PEOPLE
Yes, you’re going to say “fat people eat a lot.” OK, you got me there. Many fat people eat a lot. There are plenty of skinny people who eat just as much or more and don’t put on any weight. Just as God made some of us tall and some of short, I’m thinking he just made some of us fat. Leave us the hell alone.
BALD GUYS
You aren’t fooling anyone. Just shave it already.
SMOKERS
You will always crave a cigarette should you choose to quit. My grandmother was well into her 80s and was over 40 years smoke free and she still craved them from time to time. I quit almost 2 years ago, but if they cure cancer tomorrow, you better believe I’d light up a sweet Marlboro Regular full strength. Heck, I’d probably bite off the filter.
TEENS
If you think life sucks now, hang on, it gets worst. Fortunately, your power of denial gets stronger. My only regret is I didn’t live the kind of teenage years all the adults seem to be afraid I was living. Being in the Latin Club doesn’t exactly get a guy any action.
COLLEGE GRADS
Guess what, you’ll be lucky to make $30,000 a year. If you do make more, you probably live in San Francisco and pay $2,000 a month in rent. My advice to you is to get a part time gig at a glory hole somewhere. Trust me, that night job will not suck nearly as bad as whatever the Man ends up forcing you to do. A word to the wise, your job will not involve a thing you learned in school and even if you do end up doing what you studied, or worse yet what you love, you’ll end up hating it when you do it 40+ hours a week for a few years.
THE UNMARRIED
Ok, I fall into this category, but here is the deal if you haven’t figured it out yet. Most of the married people of the world are miserable. How else do you explain the divorce rate? So these people, in order to justify their mistakes or maybe to support the old “misery loves company” philosophy, will try everything they can to convince you married life is “da bomb.” Don’t believe the hype. I know a few happily married couples, but they are the exception. For guys, this warning holds especially true. As a test to see if you’re ready for marriage, throw all your favorite things in the trash, set your TV to a channel you hate and break the remote, put someone else in control of your finances and don’t have sex for a year. If you can survive that, you’re ready to get married.
SKINNY PEOPLE
Yes, you’re going to say “fat people eat a lot.” OK, you got me there. Many fat people eat a lot. There are plenty of skinny people who eat just as much or more and don’t put on any weight. Just as God made some of us tall and some of short, I’m thinking he just made some of us fat. Leave us the hell alone.
BALD GUYS
You aren’t fooling anyone. Just shave it already.
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