It is funny how some weeks, months, days and years are worse than others. Some just really do their best to damage a part of who you are. Tragedy can rob your ability to laugh and bad luck can destroy your self esteem. Not so long ago, I was a high school teacher. On one Tuesday morning my principal came in and did my first review. As luck would have it the kids were awful that morning. They couldn’t concentrate and they kept asking me questions forgetting such etiquette as raising their hands to speak or staying in their seats. They kept getting up to look out the window or blurting out questions asking me “what’s going on?”
That day was 9-11-01. I will never forget that day and what it did to anyone who was alive that day. In some small way, it ruined my life. I had finally gotten a job doing what I loved and 9-11 brought that to an end. So, after almost 3 years of trying to build up the nerve to apply for a teaching job again, I finally took the initiative this spring. Three days ago the rejection letters starting coming in.
What happened to the shortage of teachers, or the need for young teachers or even more rare are the young male teachers? I don’t understand why this wall has been built between me and a career in teaching. I guess I am going to have to accept this isn’t what I’m suppose to do with my life, because this rejection is really digging up some suppressed memories for me and really sending my self worth into the toilet.
As if the whole thing couldn’t come at a worse time, I took another shot finding a relationship last month. This time I gave eharmony a try. It is all over the radio, TV and internet as a great way to match you with a highly compatible mate. Great, huh? So I signed up and got lots of matches. In fact, it looks like the one place on the internet where there are more women then men. Anyway, you reply back and forth for a while and then you exchange pictures. Every woman I have met on there has been a great match until the picture exchange. Then, they don’t email me back. That’s quite an ego booster let me tell you.
Part of me wants to hear a positive affirmation from somebody like “no Jon, you are quite handsome and a great teacher.” A larger part of me doesn’t believe in either. The biggest part of me knows I’m not the best looking man in the world, nor am I the best teacher. After I accept those two facts, what do I do next?
That day was 9-11-01. I will never forget that day and what it did to anyone who was alive that day. In some small way, it ruined my life. I had finally gotten a job doing what I loved and 9-11 brought that to an end. So, after almost 3 years of trying to build up the nerve to apply for a teaching job again, I finally took the initiative this spring. Three days ago the rejection letters starting coming in.
What happened to the shortage of teachers, or the need for young teachers or even more rare are the young male teachers? I don’t understand why this wall has been built between me and a career in teaching. I guess I am going to have to accept this isn’t what I’m suppose to do with my life, because this rejection is really digging up some suppressed memories for me and really sending my self worth into the toilet.
As if the whole thing couldn’t come at a worse time, I took another shot finding a relationship last month. This time I gave eharmony a try. It is all over the radio, TV and internet as a great way to match you with a highly compatible mate. Great, huh? So I signed up and got lots of matches. In fact, it looks like the one place on the internet where there are more women then men. Anyway, you reply back and forth for a while and then you exchange pictures. Every woman I have met on there has been a great match until the picture exchange. Then, they don’t email me back. That’s quite an ego booster let me tell you.
Part of me wants to hear a positive affirmation from somebody like “no Jon, you are quite handsome and a great teacher.” A larger part of me doesn’t believe in either. The biggest part of me knows I’m not the best looking man in the world, nor am I the best teacher. After I accept those two facts, what do I do next?
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