It is world AIDS day and my local paper ran this sad story. I was impressed they managed such a humane article in our little backwards redneck town.



Jere Morrow and John Daniel Farley Jr., a couple with 16 years of history, celebrated their holy union ceremony on Oct. 8. Before another day had passed, Farley was dead.

"I was married and widowed within 24 hours," Morrow said a month after his partner's death.

Farley died of cancer, 42 days before his 43rd birthday. He also had AIDS, which Morrow thinks weakened his immune system and made him susceptible to the bone cancer that killed him.

On this day, World AIDS Day, Morrow is doing what many other gay and straight people are doing, mourning the loss of someone who died because of AIDS, either directly or, in Farley's case, indirectly.

AIDS is no longer the automatic death sentence it once was. HIV is considered a chronic ailment and those who follow their physician's regime can expect to live long lives.

And now, as then, the disease is best understood through the stories of those like Farley who are dead because of it, and Morrow who has lived HIV positive for more than 17 years.





This is their story.

"He fought," Morrow paused as he looked into the distance. "He wanted to live ... His frail body was just too weak to fight any more."

Farley and Morrow celebrated their holy union at First Coast Metropolitan Community Church in St. Augustine. It was the closest they could get to marriage.

Morrow smiled as he remembered how anxious Farley was to get to there. He was downstairs tapping his cane telling Morrow to hurry up.

In front of family and friends, some of whom had flown in from Pennsylvania, the two exchanged vows.








Both families were supportive of the relationship.

Morrow's best friend, Lynne Reed, who works with him at St. Johns County Health Department, described their families.

"They are just warm, friendly, open, non-judgmental people," she said. "The kind of people you want to be around."

Farley and Morrow each wore matching gold Claddagh rings, which now sit together on Morrow's finger.

"I think in all honesty he knew (he was close to death), and he really pushed himself," Morrow said as he choked back tears.







Reed added, "It was hard for him to just breathe in and out that day."

This was the first ceremony the couple had to honor their bond. They had been in a committed relationship for 16 years and Farley felt as though they didn't need a formal commemoration, Morrow said. However, it was important to Morrow and so it became important to Farley.

The two met in Jacksonville Beach at a time when Morrow said he had given up on finding love. But from that night on, Morrow said he and Farley were inseparable.

"I couldn't have asked for a better, more loving, supportive partner," Morrow said.

Two years after the couple met, Farley proposed at Ann O' Malley's in St. Augustine.

"It was an expression of love," Morrow said. "That was a lot for him to do in front of everyone."

Farley was diagnosed with HIV about 12 years ago and about a year after that, his viral count put him on AIDS status. The week of Nov. 20, 2004, when he turned 42, he found out that he had bone cancer. It was that week that Morrow and he made funeral arrangements.

In May, an oncologist told Farley he had about a year to live. In September, Farley stopped the rounds of chemotherapy and daily injections of Fuzeon, a last resort in AIDS treatment. They were not helping, Morrow said.

Throughout the years the couple was together, they were never sick at the same time. Farley helped Morrow through a liver transplant a few years ago and Morrow took care of Farley as his body began to shut down.

During the last few months, Farley had a difficult time eating and lost about 40 pounds. He needed a wheelchair to support his gaunt body.

After coming home from the holy union ceremony, his health quickly spiraled downward. He was no longer able to swallow pain medication and his anguish was apparent, Morrow said.

About 9 p.m. Oct. 8, a nurse began morphine treatments. Even after two doses, the pain kept Farley awake and restless. Finally, after a third dose, he was able calm down and began to fall asleep.

Morrow and the couple's Jack Russell Terrier, Jiggs, laid down with Farley.

"I would never let him see me cry," Morrow paused. "Except that night."

Morrow made sure Farley was comfortable and reassured him that he would be OK. As they drifted off, Farley died in Morrow's arms.

"It's so hard," Morrow said as his face cringed with pain. "It was always John and JerÈ."

Morrow works at the Health Department educating people about HIV/AIDS, something Farley was proud of. He would pass out Morrow's business cards every chance he got.

Farley was a chef and loved to cook. Shortly before he died, he got out all the ingredients he needed to make peanut butter cookies. He never had a chance to bake them.

Reed, who works with Morrow in HIV/AIDS education, said she always looked forward to Farley's treats.

He would send Morrow in with snacks for the office, she said.

"We ate very well," she said smiling.

In addition to Farley's baking, Reed also looked forward to his trademark cards. He gave out cards for almost every occasion and never forgot a birthday, she said. The "John cards" would come decorated with stickers and a special message.

Farley was always thinking of everyone else, Reed said. He had a gentle way that attracted people to him, she added.

"He was so pure," she said.

Morrow is slowly learning how to live without Farley.

Farley's toothbrush still sits in its holder, but Morrow recently brought himself to put the peanut butter cookie ingredients back on the shelves. He is staying busy working to raise awareness and educate people in St. Johns County about HIV/AIDS.

For Morrow, weekends are the worst. The memories he and Farley shared enter his thoughts.

"If I had to do it all over again, I would," Morrow said.