I guess when you write a blog, it is just as much a search for self as it is about picking universal truths and trying to relate your experiences in a way others can unilaterally nod along in agreement too.



So today, I have determined I have commitment issues. For the first time ever, I have the ability to pay off my car. Immediately, it scares me to think about it. What if I need my savings and I have all my money dumped into a car? The truth is, the cars interest rate right now is much higher than than the probably 1% I’m getting out of a savings account. Yet I think that is the curse of the Pisces. We can clearly see the logical solution, but we still want to follow our gut. My gut says I want (want is the key word) a different car.


I see paying off the car as something on par with automobile marriage. OK, I’m not going to drive a 2000 model Sentra around until I die. You’ve got me there. I would, however, be committing to driving this thing into the ground. So here I am unable to commit. I know once I write that check and pay the car off, it is MY car. It no longer belongs to the bank and if it gets sick, I can not just go trade it in for something new and add the remaining balance to my new financing. Once it is paid off, I’d be lucky to get anything for a trade in and if it has real issues, I would feel awful unloading it onto anyone but a dealership.

So here I am in the automotive equivalent to marriage. I planed to go seal the deal tomorrow, but I keep looking around at others cars. I want (that word again) something larger or more powerful or flashier. I keep thinking I’ll find a deal on a sexier or newer or just plain better looking car. The reality is I would probably just buy someone else’s headache. So I should just settle for plain old Yoko, the no thrills Nissan Sentra. If she knew I was talking about her like this, she would stop running tomorrow. Of course, that’s after I leave the credit union and dump my life savings into our relationship.