Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Shyness is nice and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like too.


I’ve always found it funny that those of us who are shy are also the first one’s to get up on stage and perform and most of us have more friends than we can possibly handle. What an odd thing. The more classic extroverts I talk too, the more I realize they truly are some of the most freighted people in the world and also quite often a bit lonely. I’m definitely not a psychologist, but I will speculate that the more extroverted you are, the more likely you are to be petrified of public opinion. I have my share of neuroses, but I’m also always trying to overcome my shyness. Ultimately, I think I end up getting the best of both worlds.

I can hop on stage and be a horrible actor or get up in front of a bar of people and sing bad karaoke. Why does this not scare me? Well, it does, BUT I think the difference for us shy folks is the fact we expected to go unnoticed in the crowd. So if we are lousy showmen, what differences does it make? We don’t look for the approval of everyone else, nor do we much care if they don’t approve. We can quietly slip back into our own universe.

The other thing I have noticed about extroverts is that you people hardly ever listen. I’m serious. You’d be hard pressed to find an extrovert who has a real genuine friendship with somebody (unless of course its their introvert friend who has to sit through the retelling of their latest crisis). Truthfully extroverts are pretty boring people. Its great that you can talk up someone out at the Laundromat, or bar, or grocery store. You’ll carry on a 5-minute conversation and never see them again. Worse yet, if they’re of the opposite sex you’ll get their number, go out on one date and talk their head off. Then, you’re right back to square one.

So what’s so great about being a shrinking violet? Well for starters we think about what we’re going to say. Diarrhea of the mouth is one of the hardest messes to clean up after. So when an introvert says something its usually pretty insightful or at least well thought out. A lot of us are pretty clever and quick witted in the right environment. So maybe we don’t do so great with confrontations and arguments. Chances are we’ll go home and write you and elegant 16-page dissertation explaining our viewpoint, but you’ll never read it because you’ll be too busy chatting with a waiter or cashier or someone else who will forget everything you said in 5 minutes. I can not imagine a life of single serving friendships.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home