I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be European, or at the very least a card carrying member of the east coast liberal elite.
I just about got myself lynched today. I started going off on our city and how its priorities are skewed towards stupid crap like football and wrastlin. I got the traditional “you ain’t from around here” response. The problem is I am from around here. I swear I’m trying to keep up the good fight here in the southland, but Jee-zus it can be difficult. So what got me on my latest rant? I was elated to hear an IKEA store is finally opening in Florida. The problem is they are opening it in South Florida.
The fact that I craved this connection to “the rest of the world” shows me once again that I may never fit in here. Why, you ask, do I consider myself an outcast? I’m an unmarried 30 year-old who drives a fuel efficient car and commutes no more than a handful of miles a day in said car. I eat mostly unprocessed and (GASP) vegetarian foods. If you look in my wallet, you’ll find only one credit card, but equally important is the fact I also both carry and use almost daily my gym card and library card. The only broadcast station I listen to is NPR. I mostly get my news from Stewart and Colbert. I rarely drink soda and when I do have an adult beverage, it is most likely wine. I love kids, but have also put off having them because I actually want them to have a shot at a decent lifestyle. I also realize children are my responsibility and not the state’s.
I guess the moral of this story is the knuckle dragging faction will always mindlessly churn out babies, destroy their bodies along with the environment and buy up, listen to and watch whatever garbage is fed to them. At the end of the day this train is on the fast track to Morontown and somehow I was born and raised at the Grand Central Station of Stupidity Railroad. Hopefully one day I’ll stow away on a boxcar heading anywhere but here. In the meantime, I’ll huddle over this trash can fire and recite Emily Dickinson to myself.
I just about got myself lynched today. I started going off on our city and how its priorities are skewed towards stupid crap like football and wrastlin. I got the traditional “you ain’t from around here” response. The problem is I am from around here. I swear I’m trying to keep up the good fight here in the southland, but Jee-zus it can be difficult. So what got me on my latest rant? I was elated to hear an IKEA store is finally opening in Florida. The problem is they are opening it in South Florida.
The fact that I craved this connection to “the rest of the world” shows me once again that I may never fit in here. Why, you ask, do I consider myself an outcast? I’m an unmarried 30 year-old who drives a fuel efficient car and commutes no more than a handful of miles a day in said car. I eat mostly unprocessed and (GASP) vegetarian foods. If you look in my wallet, you’ll find only one credit card, but equally important is the fact I also both carry and use almost daily my gym card and library card. The only broadcast station I listen to is NPR. I mostly get my news from Stewart and Colbert. I rarely drink soda and when I do have an adult beverage, it is most likely wine. I love kids, but have also put off having them because I actually want them to have a shot at a decent lifestyle. I also realize children are my responsibility and not the state’s.
I guess the moral of this story is the knuckle dragging faction will always mindlessly churn out babies, destroy their bodies along with the environment and buy up, listen to and watch whatever garbage is fed to them. At the end of the day this train is on the fast track to Morontown and somehow I was born and raised at the Grand Central Station of Stupidity Railroad. Hopefully one day I’ll stow away on a boxcar heading anywhere but here. In the meantime, I’ll huddle over this trash can fire and recite Emily Dickinson to myself.
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