Thursday, August 25, 2005

She might be walking on sunshine, but she’s raising hell here in Florida. Hurricane season is back in effect. I don’t suppose this will lower property value any huh?

Well if you are thinking about moving to Florida, this is one of many reasons why you should think twice.

Some others include

1) Only 8% of the actual state looks like the postcards
2) Mosquito season is pretty much year round
3) You’ll be under the ruler ship of two of the Bush brothers
4) Property is insane and insurance is even worse since we all share the burden of ensuring the idiots who build right on the ocean.
5) Say goodbye to seasons
6) Its getting crowded and over developed
7) We don’t want you here (sorry)
8) It is beautiful when the sun is out, but rainy days leave little to do.
9) In the summer, it might be sunny, but that is only enjoyable on the days it isn’t pouring down rain, near 100 degrees or just so humid you sweat walking to your car.
10) There are no laws against showing skin at the beach and everyone does it.
11) People from Ohio and Canada seize the opportunity to show off their white bods at the beach.
12) Did I mention we have lots of sharks?
13) Did I mention the snakes?
14) Old people watch your every move and report any misdeeds to the cops, your landlord or the voices in their heads.
15) Bondo is a perfectly acceptable color for cars here.
16) Even your appliances rust if you live near the ocean.
17) Strip malls
18) Key West and Tallahassee are as different as any two cities you will ever see.
19) You might be stuck going to a place called Winn Dixie to get your groceries.
20) The shuttle could fall on you
21) Most of the “land’ here is swamps that we filled in.
22) Christmas is too cold for the beach and too hot for snow.
23) Limp Biskit
24) Creed
25) Miami Sound Machine
26) Not being able to get gas whenever a hurricane is anywhere near the state.
27) Boarding up every window in your house at least once a year.
28) Skin cancer
29) Well water
30) Mowing your lawn every 5 days
31) The main interstate crossing Florida still only has 2 lanes in both directions and it is ALWAYS congested.
32) No one is actually from here.
33) During a hurricane, most of the state loses power at some point. To simulate this experience, turn only the hot water on in your shower and close the door to the bathroom. Now lie down and try to fall asleep.
34) There are wild alligators
35) The pay scale is low here and the cost of living is high. Try living on Long Island with an Alabama paycheck.
36) People treat the state like a hotel room when they visit, so we have lots of trash lying around.
37) Drawbridges

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