Dear British citizens,
I heard you have started a letter writing campaign to convince Americans to vote for John Kerry. I’ll tell you, it isn’t going over well. Americans pride themselves on their freedom and ability to make their own decisions. Never mind that if the rest of the world got to vote, or if all the people in the United States who are not allowed to vote were able to exercise that freedom, John Kerry would win by a landslide. The good news is the people who decide our elections are pretty well split right down the middle and I suspect that the “swing voters” are a figment of the media’s imagination. We are strong minded individuals here in the US and for lack of a better term we are quite stubborn.
Today as I was driving into work listening to “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” and feeling tired from staying up until 2 A.M. reading a Tony Parson’s latest book, I reached over to grab an Altoid and realized all this could be taken away. See, I’m as big a Brit lover as they come and aside from the “Telletubbies” and most Hugh Grant movies, there isn’t a thing I don’t love about British culture. Sometimes I ever dream of getting a flat in Soho and marrying a nice British girl. Unfortunately, here in the US of A, we don’t take kindly to those who question our authority. Whatever form it takes, we don’t handle it well. You may not have heard about France and the little misunderstanding we had with them. “Le Boycott” as I call it. Now our menus are graced with “Freedom Fries” and “Freedom Toast.” I would imagine young lovers are probably “Freedom Kissing” somewhere in our heartland. Need I remind you about the last time our two countries didn’t get along?
Here in the states, our primary schools don’t put a great emphasis on history, but I did learn enough to know that the Brits who built this county came here for freedom. Freedom from YOUR oppressive government. They sought a place to practice their religion freely, a place where they would always have the freedom to question the government and of course, they wanted a free press. Now we have all those things. While you might be able to take Tony Blair to task on the BBC, here in the US we respect the office of the president, no matter what dumb things he does. We also know that questioning our government in any way is really just showing a lack of support for our troops. That’s a simple fact.
So before the stores here start refilling the Beatles under “F” for the Freedoms, I suggest you cool off the criticism. Tony Blair does not always do what you want either. The good news is we don’t embarrass our president on TV by asking him poignant questions. Our news casters know how to be polite and ask the president respectful questions and do their best not to get him angry. After all, questioning our government shows you just don’t support our troops. I would think you’d support our troops, since we will likely take a step back and let British troops get the limelight when we corner Bin Laden. Otherwise, his successful capture by US forces in the next few weeks might look like a political move. You and I know better of course.
Cheers,
Jonathan Crosby
PS I heard Prince Harry has a row with the press last night. Our Bush twins would never exhibit such behavior.