Is it just me, or are you sick of these movies about high school football teams?
Today it is cloudy and in the 80s and truthfully one of the most pleasant days I’ve had in Florida in months. The oppressive heat has passed for another year. That is what passes for fall in the Sunshine State. Once it finally becomes bearable to walk to your car, you know summer has ended. Thank God! The funny thing about the sunshine state is it rains here almost everyday. I could make a clever, but vulgar analogy, but I’ll leave it alone. Its wetter than…you fill in the blanks.
I was watching “Insomniac” last night (not the movie, but the TV show where Dave Atell gets drunk in a new city each week). This particular episode he was in Tokyo. I swear I would like Japan. The main reason is it doesn’t get all that hot. I could go for cool weather. Cherry blossoms look awesome when they bloom and Japan is crawling with them. Crime is unheard of there. People even leave their keys in their cars. Japan is also a nation of vending machines. You can get just about anything you would ever want in a vending machine there. They also watch more TV in Japan than the US, yet they are smarter and a hell of a lot slimmer than us. Japanese women are often very beautiful and they like Americans and American culture for the most part and most Japanese love the chance to practice their Engrish. The people are impeccably clean. Folks stay out of your business. I could go one. Why haven’t I packed my bags yet?
OK, the bad parts of Japan that already scare me off are as follows. Anime. They’re obsessed with porn and it usually involves a fixation on school girls. I support your right to free press, but isn’t this just breeding a nation of pedophiles? The food is weird. Even their candy has ingredients like octopus and squid. They’re obsessed with baseball which is perhaps the most boring sport in the world (on the plus side, they play stuff like Weezer during the games instead of “Whoomp there it is”). They have lots of rules on etiquette that westerners would be too ignorant to ever understand, let alone abide by. I also suspect as a foreigner, you will always be held at arm’s length. The Japanese seem very friendly, but being an outsider would likely never change. If you did try to integrate into their culture, the Japanese language is difficult to learn. Why do you think they all know English? It must be a breeze to learn to them after mastering their native tongue.
Maybe someday I’ll trade in McDonalds for massage parlors and steak for sushi, but I don’t think it will be any time soon. I suppose we’re lucky we can live in a country with lots of sushi restaurants and martial arts films, but where we are not expected to commit suicide if we accidentally fart during a business dinner. Still, I’d like to live somewhere where I would be considered a giant. At least for a year or so.
Today it is cloudy and in the 80s and truthfully one of the most pleasant days I’ve had in Florida in months. The oppressive heat has passed for another year. That is what passes for fall in the Sunshine State. Once it finally becomes bearable to walk to your car, you know summer has ended. Thank God! The funny thing about the sunshine state is it rains here almost everyday. I could make a clever, but vulgar analogy, but I’ll leave it alone. Its wetter than…you fill in the blanks.
I was watching “Insomniac” last night (not the movie, but the TV show where Dave Atell gets drunk in a new city each week). This particular episode he was in Tokyo. I swear I would like Japan. The main reason is it doesn’t get all that hot. I could go for cool weather. Cherry blossoms look awesome when they bloom and Japan is crawling with them. Crime is unheard of there. People even leave their keys in their cars. Japan is also a nation of vending machines. You can get just about anything you would ever want in a vending machine there. They also watch more TV in Japan than the US, yet they are smarter and a hell of a lot slimmer than us. Japanese women are often very beautiful and they like Americans and American culture for the most part and most Japanese love the chance to practice their Engrish. The people are impeccably clean. Folks stay out of your business. I could go one. Why haven’t I packed my bags yet?
OK, the bad parts of Japan that already scare me off are as follows. Anime. They’re obsessed with porn and it usually involves a fixation on school girls. I support your right to free press, but isn’t this just breeding a nation of pedophiles? The food is weird. Even their candy has ingredients like octopus and squid. They’re obsessed with baseball which is perhaps the most boring sport in the world (on the plus side, they play stuff like Weezer during the games instead of “Whoomp there it is”). They have lots of rules on etiquette that westerners would be too ignorant to ever understand, let alone abide by. I also suspect as a foreigner, you will always be held at arm’s length. The Japanese seem very friendly, but being an outsider would likely never change. If you did try to integrate into their culture, the Japanese language is difficult to learn. Why do you think they all know English? It must be a breeze to learn to them after mastering their native tongue.
Maybe someday I’ll trade in McDonalds for massage parlors and steak for sushi, but I don’t think it will be any time soon. I suppose we’re lucky we can live in a country with lots of sushi restaurants and martial arts films, but where we are not expected to commit suicide if we accidentally fart during a business dinner. Still, I’d like to live somewhere where I would be considered a giant. At least for a year or so.
1 Comments:
Japan is beautiful...stayed two days in Tokyo...It is weird to be the only person in sight with blonde hair...those of them that I met that could speak English, called it "yellow hair" and apparently it is good luck to touch it...so, there ya go.
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