I call it (M)anorexia.

Seriously, I’m starting to wonder if I have an eating disorder. I’ve struggled with weight my whole life and just recently began to not hate my body. The funny thing is this brought a backlash, because on some subconscious level I’m angry with food for making me miserable all these years. So I am avoiding food…like the plague. Instead I should enjoy  not obsessing over my appearance.

 
I’ve now managed to get to this freaky control point where I eat once a day. Luckily, it isn’t this Bachanian feast where I gorge myself. I simply eat a normal lunch and Slim Fast or some other type of liquid the other two meals. I guess I’m not any more the victim of an eating disorder than the average house wife who uses Slim Fast. I’m just sort of freaked out because it is growing into an addictive pattern and anything done addictively is no good.

If this is like every other undertaking, I’ll loose steam here shortly and be back to the jolly old fat guy who loves to eat. It just seems like all the pleasure has been drained out of this once rewarding experience. It is liberating and yet strangely frightening.