Happy Fat Tuesday!
A week from today, I’ll be an adult. OK, I’ve been all mature for years, but you know, 30 sounds official.
What a weird and bitter sweet Lent this will be. For starters, it will be the first one in years I haven’t given up something. I could always fall back on my usual choice of soda, but honestly I don’t like most of the diet stuff, so I barely drink any now. It would hardly be a sacrifice, but compared to giving yourself for crucifixion to atone for the sins of everyone, I would think anything given up for lent is a joke. Ya know? What a weird little tradition.
Today I woke up at 6. I just don’t sleep well, or I should say I don’t sleep well until a day comes along with I have to get up early. Like Sunday, I could have slept until noon, but I had existing plans dragging me out of bed before 10. Today’s unneeded sunrise awakening gave me some time to sit and read.
I cracked open “What should I do with My Life” and polished off most of what I had left. It was a Christmas gift and I’ve been thumbing through it in my free time. It asks you to do a lot of self evaluation. Unlike lots of career books, it doesn’t come with exercises or quizzes. Instead it gives you stories of people who followed their dreams. Some succeeded, some failed and many found success really wasn’t what they expected and just as many found clarity in failure. It is a great book, because it stresses the importance of asking these questions. For myself, I’m constantly exploring the “what should I do with my mortal existence?” question.
The possibilities are endless, but then again, they’re getting limited. I could go back to finish my biology degree, study for the MCAT and start med school in 3 years. Then do clinicals, class work and a residency and I’d be practicing just in time to turn 40. Long story short, it isn’t realistic. It also isn’t what I want to do.
See, I’ve determined there is a fine line between realistic and not realistic and the best way I know to define it is this. When you really truly want something with the fiber of all your being, you will make it happen. You might fail, that is out of your hands if you give something 100%. There are just so many things that we make excuses for. People put off things like marriage and kids until they have enough money. They put off going back to school until there kids are grown. We spend our lives making little sacrifices to excuse ourselves from action.
I firmly believe when you do know what you want in life, you will make it a reality no matter what. Otherwise, inspired teachers wouldn’t teach at the worst schools in the inner city. Good people wouldn’t patrol the worst neighborhoods as police officers. No one would join the military. Unless you really honestly feel compelled to do something, You can often find excuses not to do it. Conversely, when you discover the thing that makes you tick, no excuse on earth will stand between you and your calling.
So it is with so many things in life. We try to force jobs and relationships to be something they’re not, or we dive in half hearted figuring it is the best thing we’re going to find. I for one will continue to search. The deadline is coming to sign up for school for the fall. I could do another masters. I’ve even entertaining a few areas of study. What is stopping me is that gut instinct I didn’t listen to last time. I remember so clearly knowing that Computer Science wasn’t where I wanted to be. Yet I continued on. Partly because I had no better ideas. Partly because I was making great grades. Partly because I had already invested so much time in the school work, that to not finish would be dumb.
So I finished and I don’t regret it. However, the lesson I learned was that I should trust my gut on such things. I also learned that when the time comes and I discover what gives my life meaning, nothing will stand between myself and reaching that goal. It might be becoming a paramedic or a parent or learning to be a really great xylophone player. It seems we spend much of our life forcing square pegs into the holes that are so clearly circular.
This day, the last Tuesday of my 20s, I’m making a commitment to myself to no longer do this. I could wake up tomorrow and decide I want to spend the rest of my years running a hot dog stand. If that is the case and my heart of hearts says that is what I was put on this earth to do, then I am doing it. You can not let expectations from society, other people and the ideas you grew up with stop you from living your life the way you want to. To live otherwise is not living at all.
A week from today, I’ll be an adult. OK, I’ve been all mature for years, but you know, 30 sounds official.
What a weird and bitter sweet Lent this will be. For starters, it will be the first one in years I haven’t given up something. I could always fall back on my usual choice of soda, but honestly I don’t like most of the diet stuff, so I barely drink any now. It would hardly be a sacrifice, but compared to giving yourself for crucifixion to atone for the sins of everyone, I would think anything given up for lent is a joke. Ya know? What a weird little tradition.
Today I woke up at 6. I just don’t sleep well, or I should say I don’t sleep well until a day comes along with I have to get up early. Like Sunday, I could have slept until noon, but I had existing plans dragging me out of bed before 10. Today’s unneeded sunrise awakening gave me some time to sit and read.
I cracked open “What should I do with My Life” and polished off most of what I had left. It was a Christmas gift and I’ve been thumbing through it in my free time. It asks you to do a lot of self evaluation. Unlike lots of career books, it doesn’t come with exercises or quizzes. Instead it gives you stories of people who followed their dreams. Some succeeded, some failed and many found success really wasn’t what they expected and just as many found clarity in failure. It is a great book, because it stresses the importance of asking these questions. For myself, I’m constantly exploring the “what should I do with my mortal existence?” question.
The possibilities are endless, but then again, they’re getting limited. I could go back to finish my biology degree, study for the MCAT and start med school in 3 years. Then do clinicals, class work and a residency and I’d be practicing just in time to turn 40. Long story short, it isn’t realistic. It also isn’t what I want to do.
See, I’ve determined there is a fine line between realistic and not realistic and the best way I know to define it is this. When you really truly want something with the fiber of all your being, you will make it happen. You might fail, that is out of your hands if you give something 100%. There are just so many things that we make excuses for. People put off things like marriage and kids until they have enough money. They put off going back to school until there kids are grown. We spend our lives making little sacrifices to excuse ourselves from action.
I firmly believe when you do know what you want in life, you will make it a reality no matter what. Otherwise, inspired teachers wouldn’t teach at the worst schools in the inner city. Good people wouldn’t patrol the worst neighborhoods as police officers. No one would join the military. Unless you really honestly feel compelled to do something, You can often find excuses not to do it. Conversely, when you discover the thing that makes you tick, no excuse on earth will stand between you and your calling.
So it is with so many things in life. We try to force jobs and relationships to be something they’re not, or we dive in half hearted figuring it is the best thing we’re going to find. I for one will continue to search. The deadline is coming to sign up for school for the fall. I could do another masters. I’ve even entertaining a few areas of study. What is stopping me is that gut instinct I didn’t listen to last time. I remember so clearly knowing that Computer Science wasn’t where I wanted to be. Yet I continued on. Partly because I had no better ideas. Partly because I was making great grades. Partly because I had already invested so much time in the school work, that to not finish would be dumb.
So I finished and I don’t regret it. However, the lesson I learned was that I should trust my gut on such things. I also learned that when the time comes and I discover what gives my life meaning, nothing will stand between myself and reaching that goal. It might be becoming a paramedic or a parent or learning to be a really great xylophone player. It seems we spend much of our life forcing square pegs into the holes that are so clearly circular.
This day, the last Tuesday of my 20s, I’m making a commitment to myself to no longer do this. I could wake up tomorrow and decide I want to spend the rest of my years running a hot dog stand. If that is the case and my heart of hearts says that is what I was put on this earth to do, then I am doing it. You can not let expectations from society, other people and the ideas you grew up with stop you from living your life the way you want to. To live otherwise is not living at all.
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