Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Good luck Howard Stern and luckily I’ll never have to hear you again. Yes, I said it. I hate Howard Stern. I did like “Private Parts” when it came out. I had never heard his show before, so I know nothing about him other than he is controversial. The movie portrayed him as an actual caring husband and father. I bought that up until a few years later when his marriage fell apart. Fine, lots of marriages tank these days. I’m just impressed she was able to stay with him through all the horrible stuff he has done over the years.

The times I have had the “pleasure” of listening to Stern, I’ve notice his callers are generally moronic. Seriously, I’m impressed many of them can dial a phone, much less relate a question. Some of the dumber things I’ve caught include him trying to get damn near any woman that comes on the show to get naked. One time, I even herd him tell a 120 lb. woman she is fat. Yikes. I’m also left to wonder what is the point of having women naked on the radio? Is that somehow exciting? For an ugly bastard, he has high standards. Besides all that, he is usually in the center of stupid celebrity feuds. It is like he goes out of his way to pit people against each other. Messing with celebrities would be funny if it wasn't so pathetically obvious.Maybe his whole shtick is a clever joke I’m not in on. I don’t know.


Stern has a nasally voice that is barely tolerable and his side kicks have even less talent than him (apparently it is possible). Before you go assuming I’m some sensitive cry baby who is easily offended, I can undoubtedly assure you I’ve said some tasteless stuff in my day and I’ve overshot the line of decency more than once. What allows me to like “South Park” or “Family Guy” and plenty of other entertainment that people find offensive is they have heart or a point. “South Park” usually has a moral at its center and “Family Guy” is light hearted fun. Yes, they’ll poke fun at the handicapped or bring on a greased up deaf guy. The creators of these shows have the potential to be equally offensive, but more often than not they have a lot more substance to offer and don’t rely on the same potty humor and topless bimbos to qualify as “entertainment.”

If Howard stern could portray himself as something other than a filthy mouthed, horny, talent less idiot then I’d admire what he has done in broadcasting. Of course, Rush Limbaugh has been on the air forever and he is equally stupid. I guess the moral of the story is most people are stupid, so they therefore enjoy stupid things. Mr. Stern, get Jodie Foster topless on your show and I’ll be convinced your powers are real. Seriously, I wouldn’t want to see that, but adios and thanks for giving me one more reason not to invest in satellite radio. You represent the worst stereotypes women have about men.

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