I was surprised, I was happy for a day in 1975
I was puzzled by a dream, stayed with me all day in 1995
There are always those songs that take you back. I was just sitting here thinking about “Sometimes Always” by the Jesus and Mary Chain” and what a great song it is. The lyrics aren’t brilliant by any stretch, but they do sum up relationships pretty well. It is just one of those songs that takes me back to a very specific time and place. I guess Liz Phair’s “Supernova” and most of “Definitely Maybe” by Oasis would fall into the same category of songs that take me back to my freshman year of college.
I remember that being a time of strong self discovery. In some regards, I backed away in fear from too much self discovery. I just remember being truly alone for the first time ever. I was away from my family, all the friends I knew. My roommate was a nice guy, but he got stoned a lot and after about a month I got bored with that. So I socially withdrew. Ultimately, I retreated back home to the comfortable world I knew. I would be lying though if I told you I never sit down and wonder what staying put could have done for me. I’m guessing I would have either become a cutter with a meth habit, or perhaps the most brilliant poet you ever met. Truth be told, I wasn’t yet ready for that level of isolation.
The question is are we ever ready to reach the quiet place where we face all our demons. I’m starting to conclude that no matter how many friends you surround yourself with or what you acquire from the world or how much counseling you get, the things that keep you up at night are never far off. The anxiety of never knowing what other people’s intentions are coupled with the possibility for hurt that comes with human relationships seems to always create a barrier between us. I suspect this is something we all struggle with. It just seems that lately I think I missed the chance to quietly sort through all the background noise and I have to wonder if that chance will come again someday. Are we ever free from the expectations and influence of others? Probably not. Is that a bad thing, I surely don’t know any better than you do.
I was puzzled by a dream, stayed with me all day in 1995
There are always those songs that take you back. I was just sitting here thinking about “Sometimes Always” by the Jesus and Mary Chain” and what a great song it is. The lyrics aren’t brilliant by any stretch, but they do sum up relationships pretty well. It is just one of those songs that takes me back to a very specific time and place. I guess Liz Phair’s “Supernova” and most of “Definitely Maybe” by Oasis would fall into the same category of songs that take me back to my freshman year of college.
I remember that being a time of strong self discovery. In some regards, I backed away in fear from too much self discovery. I just remember being truly alone for the first time ever. I was away from my family, all the friends I knew. My roommate was a nice guy, but he got stoned a lot and after about a month I got bored with that. So I socially withdrew. Ultimately, I retreated back home to the comfortable world I knew. I would be lying though if I told you I never sit down and wonder what staying put could have done for me. I’m guessing I would have either become a cutter with a meth habit, or perhaps the most brilliant poet you ever met. Truth be told, I wasn’t yet ready for that level of isolation.
The question is are we ever ready to reach the quiet place where we face all our demons. I’m starting to conclude that no matter how many friends you surround yourself with or what you acquire from the world or how much counseling you get, the things that keep you up at night are never far off. The anxiety of never knowing what other people’s intentions are coupled with the possibility for hurt that comes with human relationships seems to always create a barrier between us. I suspect this is something we all struggle with. It just seems that lately I think I missed the chance to quietly sort through all the background noise and I have to wonder if that chance will come again someday. Are we ever free from the expectations and influence of others? Probably not. Is that a bad thing, I surely don’t know any better than you do.
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