I’ve concluded women are crazy. Ha, I got your attention right? I saw a comedian the other night that did a routine about some men and how they always get stuck being the guy friend no one is interested in and he said a good rule of thumb is this “if a guy talks to you more than 5 minutes, he wants to sleep with you.” That is utterly and completely false. Sorry, I hate to burst your bubble. I have always done an exceptional job of getting along with women. I chalk it up to the fact that I was raised by my mom, sister and Grandma. The three strongest influences in my life were all women and I love them and they were not perfect, but they gave me a lot of respect for women. I don’t think most guys have this. Most guys look at women as something to be conquered (IE slept with) or owned (look at my girlfriend, isn’t SHE hot). Women, don’t sell yourself short. Better yet, don’t sell us short. We are not all drooling idiots and I’d like to think I am anything but that.
The down side of not being your typical egotistic moronic drooling specimen of manhood is that you usually end up getting treated like crap. “Sixteen Candles” instilled this lesson early on. If you are a decent guy, you better be ready for some heartache. Lord knows I had my share growing up and now I am a pretty tough egg to crack. So I keep finding myself in situations where there is too much ambiguity. I use to go around preaching the gospel of being friends. We need more understanding between the genders and the best way to do that is to find someone with different genitalia and befriend them. Get inside their head. Try to understand what is important to them. Learn what your own gender does right and what they do wrong. Dear God was I wrong!
I use to hear guys talking about how men and women can not be friends and think “what idiots. Of course we can be friends.” At least, that is what I thought. History has taught me differently. Inevitably, one of you is going to get hurt. There are a few scenarios where you can pull the friend thing off:
1) You limit all contact to something like the internet and there is no expectation of anything more than that.
2) One or both of you is in a very happy and very committed relationship.
3) You’re related (although this can be waived in some regions of the south and Midwest).
4) You have known each other so long you remember each other when you were awkward and goofy kids.
5) You dated so long ago that the though of being anything other than friends turns your stomach.
If you can meet one or more of those criteria, then take a shot at friendship. There’s still always that chance that one of you might desire something more at some point. That is when you are going to get hurt. As for me, I’m going to vow more to do the crap I hate, like hang around with other dudes and drink beer and limit conversation to nothing deeper than football or Hooters girls. Transcending those moronic stereotypes has gotten me into nothing but trouble.
The down side of not being your typical egotistic moronic drooling specimen of manhood is that you usually end up getting treated like crap. “Sixteen Candles” instilled this lesson early on. If you are a decent guy, you better be ready for some heartache. Lord knows I had my share growing up and now I am a pretty tough egg to crack. So I keep finding myself in situations where there is too much ambiguity. I use to go around preaching the gospel of being friends. We need more understanding between the genders and the best way to do that is to find someone with different genitalia and befriend them. Get inside their head. Try to understand what is important to them. Learn what your own gender does right and what they do wrong. Dear God was I wrong!
I use to hear guys talking about how men and women can not be friends and think “what idiots. Of course we can be friends.” At least, that is what I thought. History has taught me differently. Inevitably, one of you is going to get hurt. There are a few scenarios where you can pull the friend thing off:
1) You limit all contact to something like the internet and there is no expectation of anything more than that.
2) One or both of you is in a very happy and very committed relationship.
3) You’re related (although this can be waived in some regions of the south and Midwest).
4) You have known each other so long you remember each other when you were awkward and goofy kids.
5) You dated so long ago that the though of being anything other than friends turns your stomach.
If you can meet one or more of those criteria, then take a shot at friendship. There’s still always that chance that one of you might desire something more at some point. That is when you are going to get hurt. As for me, I’m going to vow more to do the crap I hate, like hang around with other dudes and drink beer and limit conversation to nothing deeper than football or Hooters girls. Transcending those moronic stereotypes has gotten me into nothing but trouble.
2 Comments:
I am usually impressed by what you write, Jonathan, but I think that in this blog you unintentionally put yourself into accepting the gender roles. You said that there were 5 scenarios in which a male and female can be friends. And by saying that you insinuate that those are the only times a man and woman can be friends. And in that sense you are being the sexist man that you are writing against. There are many ways for 2 people with different genitalia to be just friends. And by staying home and only doing things "like hang around with other dudes and drink beer and limit conversation to nothing deeper than football or Hooters girls" you allow the division to go on.
White disappointed gooselike bird
BAH! I completly feel you, jonathan. preach on.
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