Screw it, I guess I’m going to have to blog THIS.
I hate to admit when things get really bad, but writing about it helps a lot.
First off, I don’t want to turn 29 in less than a week. That sucks. The 20s are seriously coming to a close and I’m feeling this desire to do something wild, IE stupid. Tattoo, sky diving, starting smoking again. All seem like great suggestions. Luckily I’m too chicken to do any of these, but believe me the desire is there. I guess I want to prove to myself I’m still alive. Thank god I’m not a cutter.
So last year, on my birthday of all days, my Grandma was admitted into full time care. She went downhill really quickly after that. I guess, at least for a while, this week will always carry a lot more weight than just being the week of my birth.
As if to add insult to injury, Florida is getting hot again. I’m not ready to part with winter, or at least I’d like a real genuine spring to enjoy. I hate spring in this place, because it goes from cold, to pushing 90. Yes, I hate it. I do like the beach, but that is more a conditioned response from growing up in Florida. Winter is introspective and allows you to wear clothes that actually look good, instead of clothes that keep you from stroking out on your walk from the car to the front door. Florida, if you were a woman, you’ be the bipolar drug addicted nutcase that I can not stand and can not bring myself to leave.
I hate to admit when things get really bad, but writing about it helps a lot.
First off, I don’t want to turn 29 in less than a week. That sucks. The 20s are seriously coming to a close and I’m feeling this desire to do something wild, IE stupid. Tattoo, sky diving, starting smoking again. All seem like great suggestions. Luckily I’m too chicken to do any of these, but believe me the desire is there. I guess I want to prove to myself I’m still alive. Thank god I’m not a cutter.
So last year, on my birthday of all days, my Grandma was admitted into full time care. She went downhill really quickly after that. I guess, at least for a while, this week will always carry a lot more weight than just being the week of my birth.
As if to add insult to injury, Florida is getting hot again. I’m not ready to part with winter, or at least I’d like a real genuine spring to enjoy. I hate spring in this place, because it goes from cold, to pushing 90. Yes, I hate it. I do like the beach, but that is more a conditioned response from growing up in Florida. Winter is introspective and allows you to wear clothes that actually look good, instead of clothes that keep you from stroking out on your walk from the car to the front door. Florida, if you were a woman, you’ be the bipolar drug addicted nutcase that I can not stand and can not bring myself to leave.
4 Comments:
Awww jonathan... such a bittersweet blog you've offered us today!
Here's my suggestion: Use your 29th year to become who you want to be in your 30s. Leave the bipolar whore and make a life with that sweet melancholy seductress by the name of Seattle. Become totally addicted to Starbucks or Seattle's Best (rather than smoking-again- or cutting) and have perpetually frizzy hair due to high humidity. One day you'll be sitting at the coffeehouse of your choice, drinking a chai latte (because you're a wimp!) and you'll catch the eye of a beautiful (in that intellectual/mousey sort of way) librarian holding a cup of earl grey with honey. You'll introduce yourself (in a rare display of self confidence), shake her hand (pretending not to notice the slight stickiness brought on by the honey) and the rest, as they say, shall be history. Do it Jonathan! Take control! Make yourself happy!
Gee Jonathan, your have been told on two days in this week, maybe you will listen and NOT over analyze the crap out of it.
For ONCE in your life DO IT!
When I was 29 my father died and I ended up looking after my ill mother for the next 11 years.
Luckily you do not have that scenario.
As I said a day or so ago come look around then make the settling place Seattle.
You just never know, for heavens sake young man give it a go!!!
YKH.
Well this is the wife of anonymous and he has the responsibility for looking after me not you. So go and enjoy Seattle after you come to this great broad land with all my blessing.
Holy buckets Batman! Me, your stepdad and your MAMA? I am in far too good company. I feel like I shouldn't have used the word "whore".
Mrs. Jonathan's Mama: Sorry for using a semi-bad word. Please let Jonathan continue to play with me. I swear I'm a good influence. Thank you. (lia the catholic girl)
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