I once heard you should ask yourself a hypothetical question to figure out what you should do with your life. That question of course is “if I won the lottery what would I do with my time on earth?”
I walked past a book at Barnes and Noble yesterday called “1001 Things To Do Before You Die.” I thought to myself how cool it would be to win the lottery and just walk into a bookstore pull that sucker off the shelf and then go about checking the items off one at a time. So I guess that answers my question. I would travel like a bastard if I won the lottery. When home I would probably lounge around take up smoking again and eat myself to 800-900 Lbs. Then I would end up having a fork-lift carry me out to an obesity center where I would get gastric bypass lose the weight and become so inspired by my new life I would become a motivational speaker.
Somewhere in my nights wedged between Tony Robbins and that Subway Jared guy, I’d sit hunched over my laptop and write the greatest work of fiction ever to grace the printed page. I’d become one of the few writers with the charismatic natural charm to end up doing the talk show circuit. I’d use my new found fame to bankroll a feature musical about pirates loosely based on the book “Watership Down” with songs reworking the best sad bastard indie rock of the last 3 decades into catchy musical numbers.
Then I would take a year off to get my legs broken and slowly stretched a millimeter at a time until I’m 6’4” and finally able to see a concert without having to hop up and down. I would then co produce a reality TV show were contestants compete to be the new lead singer of “The Greatful Dead.” I’d buy a Hummer and convert it to run on fry grease and tour with the new Dead spreading the message about renewable resources. Plus I’d be tall and have a huge car and no one would ever pick on me again.
That’s what I would do if I win the lottery.
I walked past a book at Barnes and Noble yesterday called “1001 Things To Do Before You Die.” I thought to myself how cool it would be to win the lottery and just walk into a bookstore pull that sucker off the shelf and then go about checking the items off one at a time. So I guess that answers my question. I would travel like a bastard if I won the lottery. When home I would probably lounge around take up smoking again and eat myself to 800-900 Lbs. Then I would end up having a fork-lift carry me out to an obesity center where I would get gastric bypass lose the weight and become so inspired by my new life I would become a motivational speaker.
Somewhere in my nights wedged between Tony Robbins and that Subway Jared guy, I’d sit hunched over my laptop and write the greatest work of fiction ever to grace the printed page. I’d become one of the few writers with the charismatic natural charm to end up doing the talk show circuit. I’d use my new found fame to bankroll a feature musical about pirates loosely based on the book “Watership Down” with songs reworking the best sad bastard indie rock of the last 3 decades into catchy musical numbers.
Then I would take a year off to get my legs broken and slowly stretched a millimeter at a time until I’m 6’4” and finally able to see a concert without having to hop up and down. I would then co produce a reality TV show were contestants compete to be the new lead singer of “The Greatful Dead.” I’d buy a Hummer and convert it to run on fry grease and tour with the new Dead spreading the message about renewable resources. Plus I’d be tall and have a huge car and no one would ever pick on me again.
That’s what I would do if I win the lottery.
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